VASCO USA Exclusive

Breaking news from DC United, Spain and Italy; Kevin Payne has announced the signings of Ronaldinho from Barcelona and Kaka from AC Milan. Along with these signings DC announced a trade with Columbus to acquire their DP slot so that these signings could occur.
Kaka is quoted as saying "I am sick of Italy", but I still love the red and black, and DC United is the best team in the world today. Ronaldinho is quoted as saying "I can't think of another team in the world that I would rather play for except my beloved national team." Kevin is quoted as saying that "hopefully they will be able to make the first team by opening day, but they are not eligible to play Chivas this round." The pair will be eligible to play in the finals when we get there.
Kevin Payne has announced these signings this morning, saying that after the signing of Fred and Emilio, it has really livened up the locker room. I really like the samba music, and thought I would go out and sign a couple more Brasilians to enhance DC's exciting locker room.
When asked about the signings Ben Olsen is quoted as saying "I think learning from the Samba music will extend my career a couple of years." "These signings will help make DC the most exciting team in the world" Ben was also quoted as saying.
In other news, Kevin Payne announced plans to build a 100,000 seat stadium in Virginia alongside I-95. Funding will come from government of Brasil. Kevin also announced the signing of my son to a youth contract. The kid scored seventeen goals in a 32 minute game, we think he will be a monster soccer player when he grows up, he is much better than Freddy was at the age of four. He also has Brasilian blood in him, and we hear that he might be a cousin of Pele. Last but not least, United has announced a special season ticket package that includes a special deal on flights from South Florida for Brasilians wanting to come see their team play. Kevin is quoted as saying the Samba music will flow from the loudspeakers. Viva United!